Sally MacLeod lives in Brighton with her husband and two sons, and is part of the Mummyshock team. Here she shares some more of her own experiences as a Mum...

I am loving being part of another Mummyshock group full of mothers who are brave enough to be vulnerable and share the tough stuff. It’s been an encouragement to me to check in with myself and see where I’m at with things, especially with the arrival of our second baby boy.

Something that I felt came out of our conversations today touched on something I think a lot of mothers (and fathers I’m sure) experience; anxiety. As I was walking home I remembered the saying that I’ve seen on several cheesy Pinterest style memes, “To be a mother is to live with your heart on the outside of your body.” And I think I’ve recognised how true that is, and how it makes so much sense that I only experienced anxiety after the birth of my first son.

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Annie was a member of our Mummyshock Spring 2018 group in Brighton, and she writes here about her experiences as a new mum.

Since I was really little I have always wanted to be a mum. I had the weird pregnant Barbie where her belly clips on and off and there’s a little plastic baby inside and she was my favourite one. I made her have so many babies my sister had to stop the game and say - ‘you're not allowed to have any more babies this time!’. Before I was pregnant I was desperate to experience pregnancy. I thought it was something I was made to do and I would absolutely love every second. My sister joked that I would be one of those glowing pregnant ladies and I secretly hoped she would be right. She wasn’t right. For a number of reasons, both physical and emotional, my pregnancy journey was not what I had imagined at all.

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Sally MacLeod lives in Brighton with her husband and son, and is part of the Mummyshock team. Here she shares some more of her own experiences as a new Mum...

It’s taken me a while to write this, and even longer to process it but I was prompted to write about my birth story (and maybe more about how I felt after the birth) because of Birth Trauma Awareness Week a few weeks ago. It’s been hard to start writing this because partly I’m not sure who will be reading it – I remember scaring myself silly when I was pregnant the first time around (and this time) by reading horror stories. But as much as I don’t want to scare expectant mums I also want to offer my experience to mums who may have had similar experiences to me, that may not be as extreme as some of the stories in the news recently and are maybe more nuanced and difficult to label, in the hope that that will help them recognise the impact their experience of labour may have had on their experience of motherhood.

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Sally MacLeod lives in Brighton with her husband and son, and is part of the Mummyshock team. Here she shares some more of her own experiences as a new Mum...

I should probably say right at the beginning that this is written in a haze of sleep deprivation (turns out toddlers and heat don’t add up to a good night’s sleep!) I thought it might be helpful to share some of the thoughts that have gone through my mind since my little boy was born 2 and half years ago, in the hope that it might be reassuring to know that there is at least 1 other mum who has thought similar things to you, that you aren’t alone and that there is no need to feel guilty…

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Sally MacLeod lives in Brighton with her husband and son, and is part of the Mummyshock team. Here she shares some more of her own experiences as a new Mum...

I thought I would write a little bit about some of the things I feel like I’ve gained through becoming a mum as I feel like when I’ve written before I’ve tended to focus on the losses or negatives.

So here they are:

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