Having a baby can be really tough on your relationship with your partner- and sometimes this can take you totally by surprise! During week 6 of our current Mummyshock course, we explored how having a baby can impact your relationship in terms of increased conflict, and feeling less emotional connection or closeness to your partner.
Other new mums in the group shared that, in contrast, they had seen a new side to their partner, and had felt more of a team than before.
The difficulties of couples adjusting to a new baby is not uncommon, regardless of how much you both might have wanted to have a baby. About two-thirds of couples see the quality of their relationship drop within three years of the birth of a child, according to data from the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, a nonprofit organization focused on strengthening families. There is probably no more stressful time more pressurising time for a couple than after a baby has been born.
Here's a few pointers to help you negotiate some of the common issues.
- Edit your criticisms
- Soften your start up in an argument
- Learn to exit and repair the argument
Cool your conflicts:
- Make time to talk deeply
- Encourage each other
- Work as a team with equal power-sharing
Work on your friendship together
To find out more, you might want to join one of our Mummyshock 10 week courses in Brighton. We also offer couple counselling for new parents. Find out more at www.mummyshock.org.uk